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Primrose Hope June 28, 2018 - Primrose Hope   Recently we have been keeping a secret. After 5 devastating losses last year, we decided to keep it secret that we were going to try again. When we fell pregnant straight away (as we always do) we still kept it to ourselves. This time we were doing things differently. Things were going […]
An open letter to someone suffering from mental illness June 7, 2018 - Hello,   I’ve been where you are now. I know how hard it is. I want you to know that you are not alone and it will get better.   Firstly, let me tell you again that you are not alone. I know that being trapped in your own mind, unable to make connections with […]
International Bereaved Mothers Day May 6, 2018 - Since going through recurrent miscarriage, I have had the honour of meeting (online and IRL) some wonderful people who have shared their story of infertility, loss, miscarriage, IVF, stillbirth, baby loss, child loss and mental health struggles with me. Community is a powerful thing that has offered me so much support over the last year. […]
March Round Up April 1, 2018 - March Round Up Well it’s been a funny old month. You may have noticed I’ve blogged a lot less. At first my words got stuck and I couldn’t form what I wanted to say. Then I realised I didn’t have time for everything so continued to give myself time off. I’ve also been having a […]
Mental Meltdown March 22, 2018 - A few weeks ago I published a post on Instagram stating that I wasn’t feeling very well. Suddenly, I felt dark, depressed and totally overcome by it all. Suddenly, once again, life felt too much. I wished that I didn’t exist; I hoped my life would magically end.   I found it hard to write […]
PND and attachment  March 5, 2018 - When I was diagnosed with PND, I was devastated that I was having a negative impact on my child. I knew that I was struggling with our bond because I was stuck, alone in my misery. But I also knew that poor attachments had really bad outcomes and this made me worry. A lot. When […]
Peanut Butter and Jelly Cookies March 2, 2018 - After exhausting all of my parenting wizardry by 9am, and faced with a full day at home, I decided that cooking would be our next fun activity. By this point, I had been awake for 4.5 hours. We had played with play dough (which I had then scraped off the cushions). We created eleventy billion […]
February Roundup February 28, 2018 - I loved writing my roundup post in January so I decided to have another go at it this month too! February has been a funny month. I have felt the best I have in a long time, but also live in a state of feeling under pressure and overwhelmed so my anxiety is constantly buzzing […]
ICP and me February 26, 2018 - As you know, I am raising money for ICP Support to honour the memory of the 5 babies we lost to miscarriage last year. This charity may not be an obvious choice as it is not a miscarriage charity. However, they have been such a huge support to me, I wanted to explain a little more […]
140 minutes closer (an update) February 25, 2018 - A couple of weeks ago I had a really great (stupid? crazy?) idea. I have been working on reframing my mindset and transforming all the grief into something powerful and positive. I decided a positive way to honour the memory of all of the little lives we lost in miscarriage last year was to set […]
Beating overwhelm with lists and journals February 24, 2018 - Last year my life fell apart. I unravelled and it felt like my life crumbled around me. Yet here I am today, laughing and smiling and feeling like I can achieve anything. Of course, there are lots of factors that have got me here, but one of my new daily habits that has helped me […]
Guest Post Series – Parenting When You Can Barely Adult – Winging It With Harper February 21, 2018 - Parenting Through Adversity Welcome to my guest series. Posts for Parenting When You Can Barely Adult. I have asked some fellow bloggers to share their stories and activities to help create a bank of ideas for those days when you can barely adult, let alone parent. Knowing that we aren’t alone in our struggles is […]
Body Positivity: the lazy person’s excuse to stay fat? February 19, 2018 - Has anyone thought that the body positivity movement is all just a lazy person’s excuse to stay fat? An unhealthy movement that encourages weight problems? A fad that is trying to normalise obesity rather than tackle it?   I have an admission to make: I have thought all of those things. But please, bear with […]
The grouchy Mum February 19, 2018 - After months of being pretty distant due to depression and anxiety, I suddenly feel able to take part in life again … but it seems to have come at a cost … to my husband and daughter.   I want to do everything… I want a perfect house. I want to earn money. I want […]
Potty training without going potty February 16, 2018 - This week we decided it was time to start potty training. I braced myself for a stressful week. I have heard a lot of negative talk around potty training and I was worried about the effect it would have on my mental health. This week, my husband has been home too so I decided we […]
Guest Post Series – Parenting Through Adversity – Craft With Cartwright February 14, 2018 - Parenting Through Adversity Welcome to my new guest series – Parenting When You Can Barely Adult. I have asked some fellow bloggers to share their stories and activities to help create a bank of ideas for those days when you can barely adult, let alone parent. Since starting my blog, I have been overwhelmed by […]
1 step closer … February 12, 2018 - In three months time, it will be a year since we lost George. May 12th. I want to do something positive. I want to transform the pain into something beautiful. I’ve been working on ways to spread love and kindness through my guest series and giveaways on instagram. A way of saying thank you for […]
Can bloggers really make money? February 9, 2018 - This week I said that my blog is now my job. I am a blogger. But do bloggers actually make money? Is it not just big time bloggers like The Unmumsy Mum and Mother Pukka who make money? Have I totally lost my mind quitting my job …. (awkward pause). Well, I did lose it, […]
Guest Series – Parenting Through Adversity – Candid Katy February 7, 2018 - Parenting Through Adversity Welcome to my new guest series – Parenting Through Adversity. I have asked some fellow bloggers to share their stories and activities to help create a bank of ideas for those days when you can barely adult, let alone parent. Since starting my blog, I have been overwhelmed by the supportive community […]
What do you do? February 6, 2018 - What do you do? For a long time I have happily and confidently answered this question: I am a teacher. I took great pride in my title. As soon as I earned it, it became part of my identity. Much like when I became a mother, that title became synonymous with who I am. My […]
How do I tell my friend that miscarried that I am pregnant? February 5, 2018 - A few months after losing George, I wrote about pregnancy announcements and how they had affected me. In general, I was able to be happy for people and whilst there was a twinge of pain, I was able to focus on their happiness rather than my loss. Now that more time has passed, I feel […]
Slow and Steady February 4, 2018 - Slow and Steady – I keep saying that recovery needs to be slow and steady. That it’s a journey and takes time. Trouble is, this week I totally ignored my advice and ended up having a huge panic attack last night. Here’s an update on my big news and what lead me to book my […]
Thank you February 2, 2018 - Gratitude. I can’t think about the last few months without feeling grateful. Grateful?! I lost 5 babies and had a mental health crisis – grateful?! It may not seem like the right word to sum up how I feel. But without the help of others, I wouldn’t have made it through those really hard days. […]
January Roundup January 31, 2018 - January Roundup I haven’t done this before on the blog – largely because looking back filled me with terror! But, I am so happy that this month has seen a big shift in my mental health and with it, I am finally able to reflect back without fear. A whole month of 2018 has passed! […]
Guest Post Series – Parenting When You Can Barely Adult January 31, 2018 - Parenting Through Adversity Welcome to my new guest series – Parenting Through Adversity. A series of posts to help you through those days when you can barely adult, let alone parent. I have asked some fellow bloggers to share their stories and activities to help create a bank of ideas – hopefully something you can […]
The Birth of Boo Bear January 29, 2018 - I originally wrote this post for Mini Mummi blog. In the midst of so much loss, it was actually cathartic to write out this birth story. I loved reliving the birth of my daughter. It was magical.     The Birth of my Little Ivy My darling daughter was in as much of a rush […]
The Common Cold January 25, 2018 - Lately, I have been all too aware of the multitude of triggers that cause my anxiety and stress to spike. When my anxiety kicks in, I am now able to calm myself down (see this post for how I am learning to reset my mood); however, it is still really unpleasant feeling that rush of […]
She’s going to be OK January 24, 2018 - One if my biggest fears while suffering with mental illness, was the effect on my young daughter. Next week, I’ll be launching my series: Parenting through adversity. It’s got me thinking about how we’ve been doing and how Boo is despite my depressive episode and anxiety disorder.     Spoiler alert: she’s OK. She’s good. […]
Mummy Isn’t Well January 22, 2018 - This post was originally published on Selfish Mother. Selfish Mother is an amazing Blogzine and a great place to go and get lost for a few hours. It’s packed full of writers – from big names to people like me, who just write as a hobby. In fact, anyone can sign up and post content […]
Right here. Right now. January 20, 2018 - For months, I have been in a state of anxiety and depression. My mind has looked back with deep sadness and I’ve lived in those moments of trauma. Then when I have tried to shift my mindset, I’ve looked to the future and been terrified by what might or might not happen. Then this week, […]
Where’s my head at?! January 18, 2018 - Today I lost my keys. And my mind.   I searched the house up and down. I phoned my MIL to check if Boo had snuck them into her bag. I checked in the washing machine. In the bins – the outside bins. Yuck. Time was ticking by. Twenty whole minutes. That’s a long time […]
How long will it take to get over my miscarriage? January 14, 2018 - When I first miscarried last year, my initial concerns were practical: how long will this process take? How long should I have off work? As time went by, I became more concerns with the emotional toll miscarriage takes and the grieving process.   Annoyingly, there is no simple answer. With all 4 miscarriages last year […]
Mental Illness: my silver lining January 13, 2018 - At times over the last few months, if you had told me to look on the bright side or see the positives, you would have been blacklisted. Blocked. Cut off. When you are battling your own mind, being told to keep your chin up feels insensitive and hurtful. But as I start to walk out […]
Life is tough. But so am I. January 8, 2018 - Today I had a brilliant day. A few people have told me today that I seem so much happier. I am. Only tonight, I’ve spent the last hour crying. Because life won’t throw me a break.   If you have been following our journey through miscarriage, you will know that we have decided to take […]
Chemical Pregnancy. Feeling cheated January 8, 2018 - Chemical pregnancy – or more accurately – early miscarriage – leaves you feeling cheated. Just as the joy sets in that you are pregnant it is ripped away. It is over before it ever really began. That is why some doctors say that the test was a false positive. They don’t mean that the egg […]
Recovery from depression: the importance of leaving the house January 7, 2018 - Some time ago, I wrote about that importance of leaving the house when you have depression or anxiety. I strongly believe that fresh air or a change of scenery can help boost your mood. I totally stand by that advice but I didn’t always follow it myself …   When I was in deep dark […]
Perspective and reflections January 5, 2018 - Are you ever guilty of thinking you aren’t good enough? Maybe you aren’t coping as well as you should or aren’t getting over something as quickly as you should? Your emotions are over the top? Not enough? You should be doing better?   That’s basically how I felt all of last year. I am my […]
I sound like a broken record January 4, 2018 - There are certain things that I have said a lot lately. I know this because M tells me. One thing I say a lot is sorry. He hates it. He thinks I am apologising for the baby dying. Again. But I’m not – I can’t apologise for that. I am not about to start the […]
I resolve to stay the same December 30, 2017 - In December, I decided to write a positive post every day to help me focus on gratitude. As we got closer to George’s due date, the power needed to be grateful became so great that I lost all will and energy to post. And I haven’t been able to write a blog post since. Today […]
All the small things December 17, 2017 - This advent, I pledged to post something positive each day in a bid to try and cope with the sadness we feel as we approach George’s due date. In fact, I’ve been trying to hunt for happy moments for a while as a way to help me cope with a long and dark depression. Whilst […]
What are your Christmas traditions? December 13, 2017 - One of the best parts of Christmas is the traditions and making of new ones. M’s family always meets on Boxing Day for a massive cooked breakfast (served nearer lunch time). My family tend to meet on Christmas Eve so that all of the family can be together as Christmas Day is always so hectic. […]
Finding my voice when I needed it most. December 12, 2017 - I started this blog 2 weeks after we lost George. Missing him made me feel so alone. I felt marooned, abandoned, lost. My sense of self vanished. My sense of worth diminished. If I thought my post baby identity crisis was bad, the total loss of my identity was shattering after entering the vast seas […]
Signs of miscarriage December 11, 2017 -   Many times I have searched Google with ‘Symptoms of Miscarriage’. However, despite my frantic web searches, I have never seen the symptom I experience mentioned. Maybe it is a symptom of pregnancy and miscarriage that is hard to quantify. With each pregnancy I’ve lost, I’ve always known it was going to happen. Some signs […]
Vegetable printing December 11, 2017 - For a long time we have been painting with hands and feet. We’ve hand fun making cards with handprints, footprints and fingerprints. However, Boo is now at an age that she likes to assert her control and she isn’t enjoying this kind of painting at the moment. We have tried paintbrushes and she does enjoy […]
Home Comforts December 10, 2017 - Sometimes I feel guilty that I love being at home – I feel like I should get out and about more. But over the last year I have become more and more of a homebody. Home is a place of comfort and security. And we all love it.   Today we returned home from our […]
Reasons I’m happy to be mildly hungover December 9, 2017 - This week, my Christmas spirit became derailed and I’ve given in to the endless tears. I cancelled a much anticipated trip to London and felt that I wouldn’t be able to even fake being happy. Yesterday I had a panic attack when we tried to leave the house. I really felt like throwing in the […]
Winter Wonderland Sensory Play December 8, 2017 - In our house, we have been welcoming Christmas and everything festive. This meant that even our messy play has a wintery theme. Boo has lots of little Christmas toys from last year’s advent calendar so I had the idea of making a snow scene. Earlier in autumn we used fir cones in a sensory play […]
To my friends and family: thank you December 7, 2017 - So a few days ago I decided to make positive posts throughout December to help keep me focused on gratitude rather than loss. The first couple of days went well then the uncontrollable tears took over and I have been finding it hard to find real happiness. I have been feeling really low.   So […]
Christmas Cookies December 6, 2017 - I don’t need to remind you, but things I make rarely turn out as pretty as I plan them in my head. These cookies were meant to look so stylish but I chose fun with my toddler over beautiful photos and I think you should too. Because Christmas to me is all about time with […]
Today I am grateful for tears December 5, 2017 - Today’s positive post doesn’t seem that’s positive. But it’s sometbing I am incredibly grateful for. I was prompted to write this after meeting a lovely friend yesterday. She lent me her copy of Saying Goodbye and a beautiful pin. I cried, of course. But I also also felt better for it.   Lately, the flood […]
Decorating the Christmas Tree – #perfectornamentplacementdisorder December 4, 2017 - My name is The Muddled Mum and I have P.O.P.D.: Perfect Ornament Placement Disorder. This year’s marks my 5th year in recovery. I am learning to embrace chaotic placement more each year especially now that my daughter wants to join in.   A little background info: I very much like the Christmas tree to look […]
A month filled with all the good things December 3, 2017 - As you probably know, we have decided to take a break from TTC this month so that we can end 2017 on a high. It’s been a tough few months and we are wanting to refocus our energy on the things that bring us happiness. As such, I’ve decided to find something good in each […]
Stuck in indecision December 1, 2017 - For some, anxiety can make them manic so they are constantly busy. This is how I am when my anxiety is not too bad. But when my anxiety really ramps up, I become the opposite: frozen. My thoughts are racing round and round in my head but I become so stuck in my thoughts, I […]
Small Business Directory November 29, 2017 - As you may be aware, I love supporting small business where possible. You can see my gift guides for toddler toys, books, for her or for him to see individual products. I spend hours trawling through sites hunting for new brands that I want to support. However, being a mother, my memory is not what it […]
Milestones of miscarriage: the due date approaches November 28, 2017 - All I want for Christmas … is my baby. My George. He was due on Christmas Day.   I haven’t written a milestones of miscarriage post for a while because truth be told, we have just been plodding along. There haven’t been any big milestones that have come up. And we have been pretty distracted […]
Coping with recurrent loss November 27, 2017 - When one miscarriage follows another, the feelings surrounding miscarriage become more complex. In addition to feelings of loss and grief, there starts to be concerns that there is something medically amiss. The process is relentless and draining. Here is how I’ve been coping (although it feels more like surviving that coping).   Facing Grief As […]
It’s OK to not be OK November 26, 2017 - Lately I have cried. A lot. And it’s totally OK.   Since Losing George, we have been in a fog. Clouded by sadness, confusion, loss and despair. I think coping with one miscarriage would have been really hard on us. We would have muddled along and felt pain and loss but I think we would […]
Left Over Puff Pastry Cheese Straws November 24, 2017 - Ugly Cheese Straws – They’re Not Pretty But They’re Tasty A while ago I posted about some little pies that Boo and I made using ready rolled puff pastry. There were lots of off cuts from the pastry and I HATE waste so we made these dinky little cheese straws. My idea was that they […]
Shop Small This Christmas: For Him November 23, 2017 - I’ve pledged to shop small this Christmas. You can find out more about why I am trying to support small business here. Having already looked at guides for toddler toys, children’s books, gifts for her, I’m finally looking at gifts for him. I’m not gonna lie, I am rubbish at buying gifts for men. I have […]
Shop Small This Christmas: Children’s books November 22, 2017 - Shop Small This Christmas: Children’s Books This Christmas, I have pledged to shop small where possible. You can see my guides for toddler toys, gifts for him and gifts for her for inspiration for the family. Strictly speaking, not all of the books in this guide come from small businesses. Instead, I have found small […]
Shop Small This Christmas: For Her November 21, 2017 - Why shop small? This year I have committed to shop small where possible – and by that I mean I want to support small businesses. If you are wondering why you should support small businesses – just type it in to Google and you will find thousand of articles eloquently stating many valid reasons. Forbes […]
Chemical pregnancy: when you stumble at the first hurdle November 20, 2017 - I’ve read a lot about chemical pregnancy lately. I hear a lot of ‘you shouldn’t test because what you don’t know won’t hurt you’. Or ‘chemical pregnancy is so common; it’s no big deal’. The clincher ‘you just make yourself stressed by testing and everyone knows stress can cause miscarriage’   Yuck. Here’s why those […]
Round 4: 9DPO November 18, 2017 - Bittersweet. I find this hard to read. It was a day of hope. It was the one day in the month that I felt calm. I’d spent most of this month in a mood and not really wanting to try for a baby. I phoned my husband and I heard to smile creep across his […]
Round 4: ovulation November 18, 2017 - This is from my journal after our 3rd loss. We were trying for our 4th pregnancy following Boo in the hopes of a sibling. I was in a really bad mood. All the time. And neither of us were really on board with trying – it has been a tough few months emotionally.    Oh […]
Round 4. Pre conception November 18, 2017 - I wrote this after our third loss – the second chemical pregnancy. We decided to keep trying despite the losses weighing heavily on us. This month also resulted in a chemical pregnancy.    Something has changed in my attitude to trying for a baby. I don’t usually worry that we will have any trouble conceiving. […]
Round Four: 7DPO November 18, 2017 - I usually journal while we are trying for a baby as I love the records I have from Boo’s pregnancy and it helps me to stay calm. This month I felt paralysed in my writing – I was just too scared. I had barely written anything compared to last month. I wrote this day because I […]
Rainbow room  November 17, 2017 - When Boo was a baby, she had a lovely woodland nursery. I absolutely loved sourcing lovely little details for her room and was able to feed my fox obsession to my heart’s content! Although the room would suit a toddler too, I wanted to update Boo’s room so that it felt a little more grown […]
How recurrent loss feels November 16, 2017 - Well I’ve reread this post over and over and can’t  make it flow. I think it’s a representation of how I’m feeling. Nothing fits. Nothing works. So here are my jumbled thoughts on recurrent loss.   This experience has changed me. I am not the same. Each loss has dulled another part of my heart. […]
Tonight my daughter was a reflection of my strengths as a parent November 13, 2017 - I try not to cry in front of Boo. She’s so young but very perceptive and I want to shield her from some of the stresses and strains of adulthood. However, sometimes, you can’t help but be real. And tonight my tears revealed a reflection of my parenting. Tonight I cried in front of my […]
A day in the life of an anxious mind November 10, 2017 - Today I have broken my own rules. For the second day in a row, I haven’t left the house. In fact, we’ve barely left the house this week. Boo has been saying she’s wanted to stay at home and I’ve not pushed her to leave the house. But now I can feel the walls closing […]
Shop Small This Christmas – Toddler Toys November 9, 2017 - This year, I have decided to shop small. For a long time, I have been a big supporter of small business. Where possible, I also try to buy local. The only problem is, shopping small (business) takes more time and effort. Delivery times are often a little longer (when you are used to Amazon Prime’s […]
DIY Cards November 8, 2017 - Our adventures in homemade cards When Boo was 4 months old, we embarked on our first mission to make homemade cards. We made 50 footprint  Christmas cards. The next year we made 100. We’ve made countless birthday cards in between – some with footprints, some with handprints or fingerprints and others with stickers and paint […]
7 ways to be kind to yourself November 6, 2017 - How to be kind to yourself People are always telling me that I am too hard on myself. That I am stronger than I know. That I should be kind to myself. And for the longest time, I haven’t had a clue what they mean. I don’t feel strong. I feel like I must be […]
Be kind, always November 5, 2017 - Yesterday something new happened – someone took offence to something I posted and told me about it. They offered a perspective I hadn’t considered. I’m not hurt by what they said – in fact I think they tried to be considerate in their word choice – but the incident has got me thinking.   When […]
TTC after loss: 16DPO November 3, 2017 - TTC after loss really likes to kick you when you are down.   After having 5 days of positive tests, today the faint line has become a real squinter. I am now facing up to the inevitable: another loss. Miscarriage. Early miscarriage. Recurrent loss. Chemical pregnancy. The labels I am lumbered with.   I’m still […]
TTC after loss: 14DPO November 3, 2017 - TTC after loss: a horrible combination of hope and terror My period hasn’t come. That’s a good sign. But the sense of  foreboding has grown. I am still testing positive but the lines are still quite light. They should be getting darker every day but they are staying the same colour. With my last chemical […]
TTC after loss: 12DPO November 3, 2017 - TTC after loss: it’s impossible not to be hopeful   Yayyyyyy the test is positive! I knew it! I knew it! I am not crazy – it feels so good to have proof I am pregnant. The line is still faint but it’s OK because my period isn’t due for 2 days. I feel a […]
TTC after loss: 11DPO November 3, 2017 - TTC after loss. I think I am losing my mind. Today I was hunting for a new toothbrush head and stumbled upon a load of amazon cheapie tests! Oh happy day!! I’m now 11dpo so should get a positive now … If I reaaaaaaaally squint it’s there!!! Woooooo!!!! I am pregnant!! I was actually ecstatic […]
TTC after loss: 9DPO November 3, 2017 - TTC after loss: time to ramp up the crazy. Finally I have been hit by the urge to POAS (pee on a stick). Ridiculously, I’m feeling proud of myself for making it this far without testing. Earlier I suddenly wanted to test but realised I’ve been so scared about trying again I haven’t bought any […]
TTC after loss: 8DPO November 3, 2017 - TTC after loss is all about the glamour today. That moment when you are having your morning poo and suddenly the urge to spew takes over and you’re just praying you have time to flush before your face is in the bowl. Feeling sick. Heavy feeling in my uterus. Sore nipples. So very tired like […]
TTC after loss: Still 7DPO  November 3, 2017 - TTC after loss: Still 7DPO The bar staff at #Pizzup were amazing at making me fake prosecco. Soda water and a dash of apple juice looks just the part if you want to hide the fact you aren’t drinking. No one would have known a thing if: 1) I hadn’t told them (I told 4 […]
TTC after loss: 7DPO November 3, 2017 - TTC after loss: Half way through the two week wait and feeling definitely pregnant. Holy shit. Shut the front door. Today I am: Happy Grateful Feeling pregnant Last night I was sick. And today I’ve almost thrown up on the train. Plus I’ve got that fuzzy head feeling when you can’t quite get to the […]
TTC after loss: 6DPO November 3, 2017 - I’m almost a week in to this TWW and feeling like I’m questioning everything. Today I have had a pain across what i imagine is the top of my uterus. Of course, it could be my guts. Or bladder? But in my head, it’s my uterus. It hurts. And so I’ve been playing pregnant/not pregnant […]
TTC after loss: 5DPO November 3, 2017 - TTC after loss is so stressful. This TWW is already driving me crazy. So this familiar feeling has returned. I know I am pregnant but I am the kinda gal that needs proof. Proof in the form of 2 pink lines. I’m still a week off testing so I’ve now reached that lovely phase where […]
TTC after loss: 4DPO November 3, 2017 - The last time I fell pregnant, I decided to write blog posts but not publish them just in case we miscaried and I needed time to process it. I’ve decided to publish those posts so you can see what a painful and testing journey it is trying for a baby after recurrent miscarriage.     […]
1000 paper cranes November 3, 2017 - When we planned our wedding, I had the idea of folding 1000 paper cranes to decorate behind the top table. I also had 1000 other ideas of crafts to do and inevitably ran out of time. However, I had already purchased the supplies and I wanted my wish: my long and happy marriage. The Plan […]
Reindeer Cookies November 1, 2017 - Christmas is coming! So it’s time to loosen the (already loosened) belt and get ready for the annual eating fest. Reindeer Cookies 250g Peanut Butter 200g Castor sugar 1 egg To kick start the eating frenzy, here are some totally adorable reindeer cookies. The recipe is super simple – so simple that I made these […]
Recovery isn’t linear October 30, 2017 - Recovery isn’t linear. You’ll have to bear with me on this one … I may love maths a little too much. Don’t worry, there’s pictures. Exponential Recovery When I think about getting better and feeling more like my normal self, I think of recovery as exponential. In that, I still think that one day I […]
My fave Mama Merch October 29, 2017 - My obsession with Mama Merch was ignited shortly after having Boo when I saw a Selfish Mother ad on Facebook for their famous ‘Mother’ T-Shirt. I coveted that t-shirt from the moment I laid eyes on it! Not only could I state my admission to the tribe I had wanted to join for so long, […]
We have moved!  October 29, 2017 - All old blog posts plus many new ones can now be found at themuddledmum.com Thank you for supporting me in my blogging adventure and giving me the courage to keep going Kate, The Muddled Mum Making it through the muddle x
Grief October 29, 2017 - Grief Sometimes, just when you think you are coping, it knocks you off your feet.   Today I woke up with tears in my eyes. My heart was aching for the babies we have lost. The way I feel right now is quite simple: I feel sad. Sometimes grief has been quite a complex range […]
Pizzup#5 October 27, 2017 - Two weeks ago, I was lucky enough to attend Lorna Hayward’s Pizzup event at Ben’s Canteen in London. Lorna, the mother of Pizzup, is an abolsute legend. If you have read any of Lorna’s blog, the Mumblings, you will know that she has also had to fight her own anxiety battle. She started these events […]
I want another baby October 25, 2017 - I want another baby. I think that’s pretty obvious. But I’ve been trying to play it cool. Trying to be ok with the possibility that it won’t happen. Trying to come to terms with maybe stopping trying. Accepting that when George’s due date comes around, I probably won’t be pregnant. Trying so hard to be […]
Halloween Pie Bites October 25, 2017 - These fun little pie bites are perfect for a halloween party and can be easily adapted for sweet or savoury fillings. Get your children involved and make them together to help encourage them to eat some hidden vegies! Warning: you will not get picture perfect pies if you make them with children, but they will […]
I am not a Pinterest Mum. A post about why I share our play ideas and cooking sessions. October 24, 2017 - Sometimes I go down the rabbit hole that is Pinterest and see all the wonderful ideas that I could do. Sadly, my attempts could go on one of those ‘nailed it!’ posts. I’m no good at making things look pretty. I’m no good at lighting for photos. Boo doesn’t follow my plans for activities. Ever. […]
Reasons that I wouldn’t change a thing October 22, 2017 - Life has been a tough slog lately. I’ve spent  days in bed wondering if my life was worth living. I’ve been so anxious my chest hurts and nightmares have plagued my sleep. But I wouldn’t change it. Here’s why… My babies They are intertwined with my DNA. They are part of me. Of course I […]
Reasons I still have hope October 21, 2017 - It can be scary having hope when that hope has been crushed time and time again. Here’s 8 reasons why I choose to be hopeful, despite recurrent loss.
BD – the most ridiculous acronym for sex. October 20, 2017 - When you start trying for a baby, it’s hard not to become slightly neurotic. I can confidently say I am not alone in this because of the swathes of online forums and communities dedicated to trying for babies. I’m sure half of Google’s searches must be from people trying for a baby given the depth […]
Things I am irrationally angry about October 19, 2017 - I am irritable. There’s been a few things niggling away and I need to get it off my chest: 1. Eat well for less encouraging someone to buy cheap milk. Our dairy farmers are screwed over by big supermarkets. The programme suggested she stop buying local milk and just getting the cheapest stuff at the […]
I used to think I was so smart.  October 18, 2017 - I grew up thinking I was smart. At school, we were constantly told we were in the top 20% of the country. We were smart. My parents told me I was clever. I got a first at uni. I got promotions and pay rises ahead of my colleagues. I was told all the time that […]
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