I haven’t done this before on the blog – largely because looking back filled me with terror! But, I am so happy that this month has seen a big shift in my mental health and with it, I am finally able to reflect back without fear. A whole month of 2018 has passed! January may have seemed like the longest month EVER for some, but for me, it’s been a time of transformation.
January seems like it has been a lifetime.
A personal update
At the start of the year we made some really big decisions. It was finally time to make decisions in that we finally felt able. I’ll talk more about those decisions next week. But as I said before, sometimes it’s the situation that needs to change. And big changes are afoot. Making changes in my life has been a positive step in my mental health recovery. I am really delighted to say, that this month has been more up than down. I definitely feel like I have moved from crisis to recovery. My mood is more stable. When the dark cloud looms, I am able to shift it (with a lot of work, but hey! It’s still progress!). I have left the house a lot more and enjoyed it! I have to be mindful of what I commit to because I know I am still vulnerable. I have still had to pull back and take time out. CBT has been tough, often a revelation and definitely liberating. I feel like I am on a fantastic journey of re-birth.
After not really knowing if it was something I wanted to continue, I have refocused and rethought my motivations for writing. The blog started off as a place for me to say the things I needed to say. To hear my own thoughts and feelings. It was my personal support. I still do need it for that but not with the same urgency. Nonetheless, I love writing and the community that has been built around the blog (over 200 people a day visit the blog now … that’s crazy!). So I want to keep it going even if my motivation has somewhat changed. I finally launched my guest series today. It was meant to start at the beginning of January but with big decisions being made in my personal life – it felt right to hold off until everything was settled. I hope you enjoy reading the upcoming posts. My hope is that I can still continue to share my journey, but also share happier moments too. Hopefully you will all be on board for that
I have been obsessed with Celebrity Big Brother. Normally this would be a guilty pleasure that I would never publicly talk about. But part of my self-discovery is accepting who I am which includes accepting the kind of things I like. I like junk TV and this series has been perfect. I really feel like there is a shift in public awareness when it comes to equality and discrimination. Some of the conversations and attitudes in the house have made me look at my own attitudes. Not often reality TV does that! I am also excited that Silent Witness is on as I have totally run out of box sets. I don’t ever watch live TV anymore so if you can recommend a new box set that would be great!
I’ve just started reading The Secret of Nightingale Wood by Lucy Strange. In the last few months, I have started reading again. I have always loved books but have found it hard to prioritise time for reading since becoming a mum. Joining book groups has really helped me focus on making time. The group I am reading with at the moment is Bookish Mamas which you can join on Facebook. It is hosted by one of my favourite bloggers Lucy (Mrs H’s Favourite Things) alongside Jessica (Catch A Single Thought) and Naomi (The Organised Life Project). Anyone can join so if you need motivation to read, click here to take you to the group. I have also finally given up on The Power by Naomi Alderman. I had been trying to read this since November for TodayIPrimed’s book club! Maybe it’s just me, but I just cannot get on with this book. Maybe I’ll come back to it at a later date. But for now, I have given myself permission to donate it to charity.
Just this week I had a brilliant day out to Monkey World. It is a perfect day for little ones and I had such a great time there. I’ll write up a review soon. I have also been back to Bruton to visit The FMLY Store – always such a pleasure to go there. They often run talks (today was called Mad Girls and was about maternal mental health) or events that you and your little ones can enjoy. Boo and I have been enjoying going to toddler group – yes, you read that right – I actually enjoy it! And I have loved starting to catch up with some of my dear friends that I have felt unable to see while I have been so unwell.
Well this is a bit off topic for me, but now that I am starting to recover I am loving wearing make up again. My favourite at the moment is lipstick and I cannot get enough of this Stila Perla liquid lipstick. It was actually in a goodie bag at one of the Pizzup Events I attended. Liquid lipstick … I have been living under a rock and have only just discovered the stuff. It is a revelation!
This month I haven’t bought any new clothes. I have actually got rid of lots and am loving living with a capsule wardrobe. I enjoy the clothes I have a lot more. However, today, I did get my MAMA jumper replaced at The FMLY Store so I will no doubt be living in that for the next while! It’s a supersoft blue MAMA sweatshirt … it will match everything! Of course I put it on straight away as you can see in this snap with the lovely Lisa from Muumy Gummie. She also makes fabulous tees at Mama Be Kind.
So that was my month. There’s been messy play, soft play, cooking, puddle jumping, parks, swings, slides, reading, writing, dancing … it’s been fun! I am so delighted to be able to look back and smile. Here’s hoping that as the year goes on I will have more and more exciting things to look back on.