I am irritable. There’s been a few things niggling away and I need to get it off my chest:
1. Eat well for less encouraging someone to buy cheap milk.
Our dairy farmers are screwed over by big supermarkets. The programme suggested she stop buying local milk and just getting the cheapest stuff at the supermarket. Surely sometimes spending a little tiny bit extra actually is good for our economy, people’s livelihood and animal welfare. I saw this last night and I’m still angry.
2. Sainsbury’s not telling me when their half price sale started.
Maybe they told some people? Maybe I wasn’t looking in the right place? But whatever, I did not know it started yesterday so now when I go down today all the toys I didn’t want anyway will be sold out.
3. My cats bringing in moss.
Why?!?! Our floor is minging enough already without rain soaked clods of moss everywhere.
4. The washing stinking.
Our house is too small so in winter there isn’t enough space to dry laundry properly. I hate items that can’t be tumbled. They fester around the house not ever drying out. 3 days later they stink of mildew and death. I put them in the drawers anyway and infect all the other clothes.
5. Clothes that can’t be tumble dried.
I hate you. See above.
6. My extra face
I have an extra face surrounding my actual face. The extra face is made up entirely of fat. It doesn’t matter what angle I have the camera at, my face looks like it’s been swallowed. I’m drowning in chub. I could eat less and exercise more but I don’t want to. I want to eat cake and stay in bed and not have an extra face.
7. Indoor plants
Yes, yes. They brighten up the house. Recycle the oxygen. Blah blah blah MUD. Having a plant indoors means willingly bring mud into your house and then when your husband waters them with great zeal the mud overflows and is then just part of your house. Mud should not be inside. Neither should moss!
8. Reed diffusers
They promise so much and deliver … not enough. I can never get the exact fragrance I want (something like bergamot and orange or lemon verbena or clean house smell) because they are always too sweet or chemically or just plain gross. Then they run out and I struggle with justifying the expense for ages while the house goes back to smelling of old socks. So I open all the windows instead and realise I’ve turned into my mum. Just letting in the fresh air darlings! (Love you Mum)
I hate hoovers. They are so awkward. They are clunky and awkward to get out of the cupboard (of doom) under the stairs. The cord can do one. If it’s not wrapped around your ankle, it’s being pulled out of the wall. Or not long enough. Bagged or bagless?! Both have many drawbacks involving getting a mass accumulation of poo particles, boogies, nail clippings and dead skin on your hands. Then, after all that, you can’t hoover around the edges or in the corners where all the sodding dust is anyway and they don’t bloody suck up cat hair no matter what they advertise.
Awful, awful stuff.
11. Toys with a million parts
Obviously made by someone with a sick love of watching parents suffer. I don’t want to count the 217 puzzle pieces yet again. I’m justifyably angry that one tiny missing Lego deems the contraption unfinishable. I don’t know where the balls that are the exact unique size for that toy are. Why won’t this other ball fit?!
It’s the middle finger right? Click that link, go on, I dare you.
13. Our tiny bin
It’s my fault we have a tiny bin. I insisted on it because there was no place to put a big bin. I mean, it is the perfect bin if you have a small kitchen and I highly recommend it. But it’s so tiny! 2 nappies and it’s full. I constantly have to put my hand on top of said nappies and squish them down because I don’t have time to change the bin yet again and there’s plenty of space in the bag, just not the tiny bin. Don’t tell my husband I hate that stupid tiny bin. He might insist on us getting a big bin and that would make me even more cross. Something else to trip over.
Phew. Glad I got that all off my chest. Best pop down to Sainsbury’s now to get annoyed that someone managed to snaffle up the junk before me.
*this post was written with humour in mind and not malintent. I am feeling angry for a very real reason today and focussing on these inconsequential things helps. Please don’t get your knickers in a twist.