I am in a bad mood.

I spent last night unable to sleep.
Anxious.
No position was comfy.
Anxious.
All my muscles were tense.
Anxious.
Thoughts racing.
Anxious.
Feeling oppressed by my own body and mind.
There’s no escaping the prison I make for myself.
Today has been a struggle.
The house is a mess.
Full of stuff.
Boo didn’t nap.
All I wanted was time alone to process.
To breathe.
To clean and scrub the thoughts away.
No break.
No time.
Anxious. Anxious. Anxious.
Out this evening, more time talking.
The drive was horrendous.
I can feel every muscle wound up tight.
I can see headlights still dazzling in my eyes.
I know it will be another night.
Of no sleep.
Anxious.

I’m lying here angry because it’s better than anxious.
How do I make my own mind shut up?
How do I just go the fuck to sleep?

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